Oh! Why did I puke?!

If you are past the repulsive title, you would know this is not about me puking, in a literal sense. If you did take it literally- Eww! What were you thinking?! It’s gross. I am talking about the occasional episodes of verbal diarrhea. Oh Dear Lord! Now I am regretting writing this post even before I have started it. Let me stop using phrases referring to any bodily functions.

People, I am talking about my episodes of talking without a filter. Or rather having a long conversation with someone only to regret it later. That’s what this post is about. Not anything else.

Do you think this after a conversation – why the hell did I open my mouth? I get this feeling after I have a long conversation with someone. Why, oh, why did I have to open my mouth? I think it’s pretty similar to the regret after wolfing down a cheesecake and skipping your work out. Yes, Double Regret.

When a friend asks you “how’s life?”, we or I should say I usually respond with “it’s good, the usual” or vague responses even if I am in the worst place. But then there are sometimes when life is just meh, not really bad, just meh, I blurt out my deepest darkest secrets in my heart. Deepest darkest secrets do not translate to I work as a spy or I am a vigilante, which I don’t think is much of a secret these days. You know what I mean? Have you seen Super Girl, Flash or Arrow etc? Everyone, I mean everyone seems to know who the vigilante is except of course the one person they are in love with. What’s the point of being a secret vigilante when even people in an alternate universe know Barry is the Flash?!! Oh right, I am rambling now. Hmmm, maybe I should write about cliché TV shows.  Alright, where was I? I blurt out my deepest darkest secrets in my heart – which only translates to how I feel like a disappointment, how it feels like I am having a quarter life crisis or how I want to do something but can’t because I don’t seem to have the drive to do it. Only to feel bad after the conversation. After the conversation, I feel like I have been whining when things don’t go my way.

A while back, a friend asked how was life and I described in detail how I actually feel aka one-hour whining session. After an hour, my friend said “Well, now that that’s out of the way, I was let go. Do you know of any openings?” I felt so (add a couple of extra O’s so you know how I felt) guilty. This has happened a lot of times. I mean, not my friend being let go. I talk to a friend about my “so called” issues and then after the conversation I feel like an un-thankful whiny person. I literally cringe after I realize how whiny I acted and then take an oath never to over-share. But, then it happens again, exactly six months later with a different friend. Sometimes the same friend if they are unlucky.

So, do you guys have episodes of over sharing? Please say yes and make me feel better.

After a while...

I decided to write here. Again.

I don’t have many followers. If I lose a couple of them, it would read “any followers”.

I decided to write, yes again, because I want to write more regularly. Or be heard, may be?

Reading my old posts made me realize how much I have changed in the past five years. I had a post on random things about me, and I am going to update it. More like make observations on each item since I don’t know how to actually edit existing posts. May be I do.

1. I am a music freak, I need some music playing all the time, even when I sleep!!! – Has not changed, I don’t think it ever will.

2. I am not fond of anything that has strawberry in it - cakes, Ice cream, milk shake and I always prefer chocolate anything. – I am absolutely ok with Strawberry in anything. Chocolate became redundant.

3. I absolutely love coffee. I love to wake up to the smell of it. I like it very strong but with sugar. Somehow nothing beats the filter kaapi my mother makes. :) – Not so much anymore. At least, I am not dying for a cup of black coffee.

4. I am not fond of shopping and neither am I a patient shopper. I would be the last person you might want to take out for shopping, but my choices have always been above average :) – This has not changed. I still hate shopping.

5. I am passionate about cooking, only when there is someone who appreciates food. I totally hate cooking for myself!! – So true, even today.

6. I enjoy watching action flicks rather than meaningful and realistic cinema. – some things never change, do they?

7. I absolutely love getting wet or rather drenched in the rain, but not when I am well dressed :P – I would love to play in the rain when my hair is not styled.

8. I love beaches, the sea and the sand, but somehow I have never been to beaches much. – Turns out, I just like to see the ocean/ sea. Not quite into getting my feet wet.

9. I love chicken-anything :D – Ughhh!!! Hate hate hate chicken.

10. I am a religiously inclined person. – Not anymore. Enough said.

11. I am afraid of dogs, cats, birds, elephants and some humans ;) – I want a pet dog.

12. The first thing that gets in my mind when I see any couple is "How can they be this committed to each other, seriously??!!!". – I am married and I still feel the same!!

13. I hate to give answers, explanations even at the exams and I hate to prove myself to anyone. – This is a constant in my life.

14. I don't like the cartoons these days, I always liked the ones that I watched as a kid. – I am not into cartoons anymore period. Is the dot after period redundant?

15. I love long drives, or just drives and no one but my dad has ever been patient enough to take me on one even in the middle of the night. – Another constant.

16. I love traveling but I also like traveling comfortable which makes things a little difficult. – So true, I have incidents to prove this.

17. I love the dark rooms rather than bright and well lit ones. – I don’t have an opinion on this anymore.

18. I like solving sudokus, in fact the minute I see those squares I fall in love with them. – This has not changed.

19. My favorite subjects at school were Physics, Maths and Geography. The ones I despised were Chemistry, chemistry, chemistry and History :P – I despise Chemistry, more so than ever and I figured out why.

20. Sometimes I like to hold the phone without talking for minutes together with my besties and I find it a lot more comfortable than talking. – I don’t talk to besties. Do I even have besties? I text a few of them. Not for the lack of my trying. Scratch that, I just hate people now. I am the one to blame.

21. I have some kind of phobia attached with the word marriage / marital life, though I would very much like near and dear ones getting married soon just for the "kalyana saapaadu" :P -  My love for kalyana saapadu remains the same. I can’t comment on the phobia part without sounding like a hypocrite.

22. I love to listen, listen a lot and I hate to talk!! – I hate to listen and talk. I hate actual conversations period. I love texting.

23. I have this wonderful habit of quitting my thinking system the minute I hit a block, which I realize is a very bad thing!! -  I guess; I don’t think anymore. That’s even worse, right?

24. I totally support flirtationship ;) (Don't tell me you don't know what that is!!!)- Yay, flirtationships FTW!!

25. I love doing crappy things and sleeping :) :) :) :) – Define crappy things. Who hates sleeping?!

26. Just like the whole lot of you who are reading this post, I find this one very crappily done and boring.  – Well, at least I was writing. See 25. :P

I think I have zero followers! Does this negate my comment on 23?! ;)